A Modest Proposal

Going Greener: A Modest Proposal

 

In the spirit of going green, I have come up with a stimulus plan in hopes to save the economy. It is evident that with our rapidly plunging economy, a stimulus plan is in order that will save the future of our country. And let’s face it—no one wants to go along with a plan that may take years or months to affect us personally. Immediate gratification has never failed us before in times of economic need.

Instead of continuing to tax the average working American, it is clear that it would benefit everyone to make a tax on something with no clear residual benefit. Scientists involved in the process of “going green” to save the environment have made another claim on something green: that marijuana, although clearly labeled as an illegal drug, has medicinal purposes. So why not give those pot-smoking hippies what they want—legalize it!

By legalizing this drug, scientists and drug users will get what they want, and pay for it. It is evident that modern technology has created a façade to trick us again: that grass will help cancer patients see through their pain in a delusional state of hazy pot smoke, and anorexic boys and girls will learn how to eat again. Obviously science’s “proof” has come out to get us again. Why keep a tax on average American needs:  cell phones, cigarettes and alcohol, when we can target those causing the real problems in this country: habitual marijuana smokers.

Due to the higher price on marijuana compared to cigarettes, the economy could benefit even more with a higher tax on the drug than it does now on other currently legal taxed substances. A bunch of stoner kids and cancer patients walking around stoned should have little effect on the rest of us, anyway. Not only that, but along with boosting our economy, we could at the same time be reducing the cause of much gang violence and drug dealing in our country by eliminating the illegality of this substance.

Some may say that this proposal is irrational due to the former illegalization of this drug, but let’s contrast and compare. How many people become violent or angry when under the influence of marijuana?  And how many people have been influenced in this sense when they are drunk, or without their fix of nicotine? To me, it is clear that marijuana is a benefit to our society, as well as a lesser of many other taxed evils.